Really? Shame on you Governor Deal!

The governor's race in Georgia is in full swing.  Jason Carter is young and has a likable demeanor.  Nathan Deal hasn't really been able to find anything negative to say about him so now he has made two ads that make fun of his young age- using a ten year old trying to shoot a basketball and not making it in the net to compare Jason's young age to not being able to make a basket without cheating his way and lowering the height of the net.  The other commercial makes fun of his "gift of gab".  Jason Carter has made commercials that state the true facts that have happened during the Deal governorship and he comes off as a caring, truthful young man. The Deal commercial puts animated stars on Jason's teeth to make him seem like a charlatan.  I have been disgusted by Deals underhanded tactics.  Jason deal could bring out the pictures of Snowmagageddon 2014.  That was an example of not preparing for a rare during the workday snowstorm, where many people were trapped on the highway coming home from work.  Remember that? 

When I think of Nathan Deal and his governorship, I basically think of nothing.  He really didn't do anything that helped the regular citizen.  His health care plan for state workers sucked.  He took down the toll plaza on 400- about 5 years too late on that one.  He encouraged more film makers to come to Georgia by keeping the taxes low on their productions.  Meanwhile I spent about $4000 in taxes on the purchase of my car.  I leased and then bought my car, so I got shafted.  Our property taxes, medical coverage, student loan payments have us strapped-but thank goodness we are home to Dumb and Dumber 2!

I hope the regular folks will get out and vote November 4th!  We need to put Jason Carter, Michele Nunn and the other Democrats into office.  Show this country that there are some people in the deep south that care for the regular citizen.  

Is the sentence fair?

We are all sad for the Guidice family.  The sentences of jail time for both Joe and Teresa have to be very difficult for the family.  The judge did think of the family and delayed Joe's sentence so that Teresa could serve her time first.  Would they have had the same sentence if they were not famous?  Probably, I mean they did commit fraud.  I knew a man from my church that served five years for tax invasion. That was very hard on his family and his wife.  

They did not physically hurt anyone, but they did break the law.  We all love the Guidice family.  We have enjoyed everything Jersey, hopefully the family will learn from their mistakes and teach the girls that money and stuff is not the most important thing to acquire.  I have seen a real humbling this year on the NJHWives, I hope this is sincere, for the sake of the girls.

Ferris Bueller meets Carrie Bradshaw

Isn't it magical when two of your favorite characters  form a real life relationship?  Ferris Bueller's Day Off is one of my favorite movies of all time.  Sex and the City is the ultimate chic show.( thanks to e! we can watch it on a daily basis)  Now they are the New York royalty.  They are friends with the elite of NYC like Kelly Ripa and Andy Cohen.  I just can not imagine how much fun it must be to be able to go out on the town with Carrie Bradshaw and Ferris Bueller.  I am not a psycho- I realize they are actors and are not the same as their beloved characters, but we can romanticize, right?

My sincere apology to Natasha Tretheway

Dear Ms. Tretheway,

I just read an article about you in the AJC and I am so proud of you and all of your success.  Being named the Poet Laureate of the United States is an incredible honor.  I have followed your successful career over the years and I have admired your courage and strength.

I have spent the last 31 years agonizing over a poor decision.  I was 22 years old and serving on my first jury duty at the Decatur Court house.  Your former step father was on trial, ( for the rest of this blog I will refer to him as YMSH- your mother's second husband) for perjury in his first trial.  I had a very bad feeling about this man. He had a very scary stare and seemed to be heavily medicated. The prosecution tried a few times to bring up his original sentencing.  She would speak about a gun and was immediately shut down by the defence team.  The main focus of the trial was that he had lied about ever being in legal trouble and therefore had committed perjury in his original trial.

The defense argued that being charged with a crime while in the Army was not really the same as being charged with a crime in civilian life. ( by the way he was a pimp in Vietnam during the war)  They also said that being charged with neglect for not paying child support was not technically a considered a crime.  We listened to testimony for two and a half days and then went into the jury room.  I was one of two people  in that room that believed that he was guilty of perjury. 

We all realized that a trial for perjury wasn't the real crime.  We were not allowed to know why he was currently in prison.  We were also told that he was medicated because he had PTSD from being involved in the Vietnamese war.

I held our for a few hours and then the other girl changed her mind.  The jury foreman was a professor at Spelman college and he accused me of being prejudice.  "what does a little white girl from the beach in New Jersey know of the plight of a black soldier in Atlanta?"  I cried and I tried for a couple more hours to hold my ground and then I gave in.  I have never forgotten that I gave in.   I cried when the verdict was read.  I knew it was wrong, and that I wasn't strong enough in my convictions.

About a month later I was watching the evening news and the top story was that YMSH had been released from prison and directly gone straight to your mother's house, shot and killed her.  I realized that the point of the trial that I had been assigned to as a juror was to get him a couple of extra years of prison.  He had been writing threatening letters to your mother from prison.  He also had been charged with aggravated assault with a weapon against your mother in the first trial.  We were never allowed to hear about the particulars of why he was in jail.  I think that would have defiantly swayed more of the jurors over to a guilty verdict.

I am so sorry that I didn't hold on in that jury room.  I really wish that I had been stronger then.  I also found out after seeing the TV news coverage that you were a student a year before at the same high school I was working.  You were a cheerleader and I had known of you.  I was a first year teacher and I was teaching the "subbies".  ( the  8th graders that were below the freshmen- subbies). 

I know this is just a blog, basically it is a diary I have created that my daughter may be able to read and get a few laughs from when I go.  I have no interest in Tweeting or Face book.  You will probably never see this.  It does help me to write it all down.  I have keep this in for a long time.

I wish you a long life of success and happiness.  I am so sorry for the tragedy with your mother and I hope that you can forgive me.  I know in my heart that I was young and weak.  I have forgiven myself for my poor decision.  I wish the 54 year old me could have been there in that jury room.  I think that things might have turned out a little differently.  Again I am sincerely sorry Natasha.
                                                                  Momma T

The "New View" is

 

Hurrah for the new and improved version of the View.  From the blessing  from Queen Barbara, to the tributes to Robin Williams and  Joan Rivers, to the eight year old winner of Norway's Got Talent, the new season is definitely an improvement!

First of all, it is so wonderful to see the interaction between Whoopi and the rest of the girls.  I think Whoopi is finally comfortable in her position and free to speak her mind.  Rosie O is lovable and open and I loved her interview with Barbara Streisand.  My daughter and I absolutely love Rosie P.  Her accent is the greatest!  She has no difficulty voicing her opinion and she seems to fit in perfectly.  Nicole is finding her way into the talk show world.  She is the one that has the least experience in TV.  She ia Greek and has a family and although she worked in the Bush white house, she seems authentic.  

I am just so happy that the focus has turned back to politics.  they still talk about all the current topics, but it seemed that politics went out the window after Joy left.  Congrats to the new season.  Keep up the good work girls!

Dude Looks like a Lady!

 

What to say about the early passing of Robin Williams?  Wasn't the Aerosmith song, Dude Looks like a Lady- just perfect for the movie, Mrs. Doubtfire?

I never was a Mork and Mindy fan. I was in college when that show was on and I didn't watch TV during those years.  I loved Good Morning Vietnam, Dead Poets Society and of course- Aladdin. My daughter was 6 when Aladdin first came out and she cried at the end of the movie because she didn't want to leave the theatre where the genie lived. 

Robin Williams was a genius.  He must have been one of those special homo sapiens that had extra neurons in his brain, ( like Albert Einstein).  

One of my colleagues said that taking your life is selfish. I don't believe that Robin was a selfish person.  He donated his time to so many organizations and did Comic relief with Whoopie and Billy.  He selflessly gave to the public.  We all loved him and he made us smile. Thanks for everything Robin, we will miss you!

A tribute to Joan

 

I just want to take a moment to say goodbye to one of my true heroes.  I have always loved Joan Rivers.  She was crass, edgy and self-deprecating.  She was a woman that found success in a man's world.  She recreated herself after heartache and failure.  She made me laugh every week on the Fashion Police.  I also loved her recent documentary.  She was equally hard on herself and a litany of celebrities.  She was a advocate to the gay rights movement and she brought meals to patients with HIV and AIDS.  She demonstrated the ethic of hard work to many younger people that need a role model like her.  

I can't imagine that the Fashion Police could continue without Joan.  I wish Melissa and her son all the best.   Take care and know that your mother/grandmother was one of kind.  Her humor was ageless. She paved the way for comics like Kathy Griffin.  

Rest in peace Joan Rivers, we all will miss you!

Coal and Oil are the new cigarettes

Remember most electricity is not really clean!



Have you ever driven past the huge electric power plant near Eatonton Georgia?  There are mountains of black coal next to the large smoke stacks.  Some folks don't understand that if you invest in an electric car, you may not have any visible emissions from your vehicle, but somewhere the electricity that you are using is likely to have origins in coal.  Burning coal produces carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide that contribute to climate change just as gasoline powered cars do, but there is solid . waste left and other gases like sulfur dioxide that contribute to acid rain.

When I was a kid, the evil in our society was determined to be cigarettes.  It took over twenty years to convince the general public how dangerous cigarettes were.  The research was clouded by "scientific research" that was later determined to be financed by the cigarette companies.  Over time the government added taxes, regulations and eventually the number of smokers greatly decreased.

Last summer the headlines were that we have surpassed the carbon levels ever scene on the Earth.  We have had scientists trying to warn us about the dangers of greenhouse gases since the 80's.  Finally, President Obama made a speech about reducing emissions last week.  This is not a problem that we can control in the United States.  The emissions we release effect countries like Bangladesh.  The fact that we had the knowledge about the dangers of oil and coal back in the 1970's and we decided not to invest in solar energy technology is simply abhorrent.  Is money is more important than life?  Will that be the legacy of our society?

Knock Knock- Aren't you glad I did Say Orange is the new Black?

I threw my pie for you!

Who is your favorite prisoner?

I have to say that my daughter and I have thoroughly enjoyed our Netflicks subscription.  Orange is the New Black has been our favorite show in a while.  It is rare that a show can make you empathetic to prisoners and also give you a deep belly laugh at times.  If you haven't seen this yet- I highly recommend it.  It is definitely worth the subscription cost for Netflicks.

It is difficult to pick a favorite. Piper is not it.  She is changing, adapting and has become less whiny this season, but we love crazy eyes and red the best.  Pennsatucky, Tastee, Lorna and Nicky are strong seconds.  The best part of the show is learning the back stories of the inmates and why they ended up in prison.  The show is well-written.  We loved the band with the prison guards called - Side-Boob!  Ha- larious!  
 

The Years of living Dangerously

This is a picture of Long Beach Island. I grew up here.  Since I live live in Georgia now, I only visit LBI once or twice a year. I used to tell my students that I noticed the sea level was higher every time I visited.    LBI was decimated by Sandy last year. It turns out that the storm was so much worse because the sea level was over a foot higher than it was when I was growing up there.   Many of the houses have not been rebuilt yet. Many of the damaged houses have to be raised over 11 feet before they can be rebuilt. Many of the people can't afford to do this and they won't get any help from FEMA unless they raise the house. 

   Here is a picture of the type of damage the storm caused.






  I have been teaching about climate change since the 80's.  I was blown away by the data presented in the original reports.  Growing up on the beach, I witnessed many changes to the quality of water.  We used to get plastic bottles and  tampon applicators wash up on the beach each day.  Why did this happen?  Because trash and sewage was being dumped into the ocean and the remnants would wash up on our beaches.  Legislation was passed that made dumping sewage into the ocean illegal and now there is very little evidence of trash on the beaches each morning.  Positive things can happen when we make an effort.

  Our air is cleaner now because of the clean air act.  Why can't we wake up and realize that our sea levels are rising because of human greed?   Burning coal, natural gas and gasoline are drastically changing our climate.  We have to cut down on greenhouse gases.  I truly have appreciated the Showtime series- The years of Living Dangerously.  The documentary series explores many different problem areas around the world.  Politicians are interviewed.  Daughters of fundamentalist Christians try to convince their preacher fathers that climate change is real. I have family that live near Apalachicola, Florida.  The oyster population has decreased to 10% of what it used to be.  The Chattahoochee river (Atlanta) drains into the Gulf of Mexico here.  When there is a lack of fresh water form the north,  the salinity of the bay changes and oysters are attacked by more parasites and then less of them make it to adulthood.  We, Homo sapiens are doing this!  In Atlanta, because of urban sprawl, the water is needed more and more for a growing population.  We also suffered from drought for several years in a row and the Apalachicola bay suffered as a consequence of our over population. (400 miles upstream)

We are all connected to each other. Why are we so scared to turn away from oil?  $$$$$$$$$$$$$ What harm will cutting back on emissions hurt us?   If we move forward with legislation that phases out the production of greenhouse gases and it turns out that the scientists were wrong, then our legacy is still a cleaner environment.  Isn't that a win/win for the silly Homo sapiens?

Wild wild West!

Welcome to the wild west in the heart of a city.  Don't you think the conceal and carry laws in Georgia are as ass-backwards an idea since the proposal to place stickers on Biology text books claiming that Evolution is one of many ideas to explain how the world was created?

Remember how our state took the hit on that one?  We were the laughing stock of the nation!

I feel that this new law that allows you to carry your gun anywhere- even schools and church- it just leaves me very uncomfortable about my surroundings.  Somehow alcohol and loaded guns do not make me feel safe.  Way to go Georgia Legislators- you have carried our fair state back in time to pre- Civil war days.  I know it is difficult for some of you to give up on the Confederacy and ass-backwards way of thinking.  Congratulations on your progressive thinking!

Is there a connection to bad weather and greenhouse gases?

Have you noticed that the top three stories on the news each day are the weather? There is flooding from Florida to Philadelphia. Tornado damage in the Midwest and south.  Fires out west.  Now, we have always had to deal with crazy weather in the springtime, but was it "normal" to have these events occur on a daily basis?  Think about it!

Anita Hill- 23 years after the hearings

I just saw Anita Hill on the Jon Stewart show and she is really a class act.  She paved the way for women in the work place.  The laws were on the books when she testified about Clarence Thomas and his indiscretions in the work place, but if you need to educate yourself about inappropriate behavior in the work place just watch a couple of episodes of Mad Men.  

I started working in education in the early 80's.  I can remember some of the coaches going out in the hall between classes and rating all the girl students.  The cheerleaders got extra high ratings when they had their short uniforms on.  I had a principal that always put his hand on my shoulder or arm whenever he spoke to me.  It gave me the creeps-but what could I do?  It wasn't an egregious offense. I would have lost my status if I had said anything. I had a boss during my summer employment in college that made me go out and drive him to get pot and then sit with him while he smoked it and then drive him home ( to his poor wife and family).  I didn't really like it but I didn't have any power, so I did what he asked.  

 When Anita Hill stood up to Clarence Thomas and spoke about his behavior to congress, she spoke to a panel of 14 old white men about sexual harassment.  Do you think they really had any idea why she was offended? She spoke of the sick perverted jokes and even worse the overt sexual overtures and those congressmen were probable thinking- this is nothing that I haven't done myself. But- it put a little bug in the minds of our nations's male dominated work bosses and within a couple of years, a lot of that behavior was curtailed- at least it wasn't considered normal.

I have always admired Anita Hill and apparently there is a documentary that is coming out that will explore her story and present it to a new generation of girls.  I can not wait to see it. If we had listened to her and nixed the judicial appointment of Clarence Thomas- would that really have been such a bad thing?  

A plea to the global citizens out there- Watch Vice and listen!

If you haven't yet gotten the message- drought, hurricanes, floods, record highs, record lows- this is called climate change.  Everyone has been affected in some way.  Probably the most overt example to me is hurricane Sandy.  The weather is trying to tell us a secret and that is that we are polluting the world with some gases that don't have an odor or a color.  They envelop the the atmosphere and cause a trapping of heat that can change the wind and water currents, increase the number of catastrophic storms and cause the Arctic ice to melt into the oceans.  

We have all heard about the idea of global climate change.  Some of us have worried about this, some think it is a load of crap.  I mean the Northern states just had the coldest temps in a long time- so what do we have to worry about?  I will tell you what we have to worry about- Greenland is melting .  and if the glaciers melt completely- the sea will rise over 20 feet.  There goes the coast. 

If you are concerned watch last week's episode of Vice on HBO. 

We need to decrease greenhouse gases by 80% or there will be a global catastrophe in 3 generations. Does this sound serious to you?

Netflicks watchers! House of Cards- Back with Avenegence!

FU- Frank Underwood- You are a Wicked Man!

Well my best Valentine's present wasn't flowers or candy- it was the return of House of Cards.  I was so flabbergasted after the first episode, I could hardly speak.  Frank Underwood is now the Vice President and he is not exactly the Veep.  He definitely isn't comparable to good old Joe Biden either.  He is simply the most evil character the we love to hate on  television these days.

Check it out.  Orange is the new Black and House of Cards makes a subscription to Netflicks worth the monthly charge.

Did the valentine snow jam influence Congress?

Good news:  We paid our debt last week.  Did the weather have any say in the matter?  They voted quickly and then got the Hell out of Washington before the snow came.  All I know is that I was so sick of the B.S. surrounding the government shutdown and Senator Cruz, that I was so happily surprised that the vote was positive and quick.  Ted Cruz was on Face the Nation last week and he had the audacity to blame the government shutdown last October on the President.  On which planet does he reside?

My two favorite people on TV

I know that I watch too much TV.I mean we are stuck inside for the next three days-so it is inevitable. I thought I would comment on my favorite TV characters at this moment.





 Number 1- Sue Heck. Sue is the hopelessly awkward high school ( she has to really be about 22, I think she played a preteen in Weeds also) junior in The Middle. Sue is the perfect overly optimistic, braces wearing, clumsy, always trying out for and seldom making any teams type gal. The episode this season when she comes home and screams that she made the varsity volleyball team. She has never made anything that she has tried out for.  She was on Cross country- but there were no cuts.  Her mom made sure she joined that team!  You come to find out that she fell through the gym floor at tryouts and the coach was afraid the family would sue the school, so they put her on the team. It was hilarious!




 Number two- Reza on Shahs of Sunset. Now, I do realize that he isn't exactly a character, because he is on a reality show. But he is a "character" with his 'stache, his quirky way of dressing and his over- dramatizations. Even though Asa, her mother and Reza were in Turkey looking out at the border of Iran and the moment was truly moving, because they were not allowed to visit the country they were born, my daughter and I couldn't help but crack up at Reza and his drama. I just can't help but crack up at the way he talks-"I was a prisoner for so long- and now I am free". He is gay and won't be accepted into Iran. Asa and her mother are political refugees from Iran. None of that is funny. In fact the episode was emotionally moving. I just love Reza and he make me smile. Whether he is discussing MJ's boobs or how Glonessa turns into Loch-nessa when she drinks- that shit is funny.

 I like a lot of shows on TV these days. I love Girls, The Goldberg's, House of Lies, Shameless, Parenthood, Downton Abbey, Sherlock and of course the best show on TV- The Walking Dead. But nothing makes me laugh harder than Reza and Sue Heck. I also love that Jon Stewart. The episode where he made fun of Atlanta's snow jam was classic. I also loved the salute to Sean Hannity leaving NYC.

Things are OK here in the land of snow and ice.  Thank goodness we still have our electricity!
Love- Momma

Day 1- SnowJam Part Deux- Atlanta is a ghost town

Well here we are two weeks later and Atlanta had another storm.  This time it is mainly ice and fortunately it started falling at night-so the roads are free of motorists. The schools were closed a day early- it just rained on Tuesday.  So we have avoided the traffic snarls.  The problem this time is the trees are burdened with ice and they are falling so 100's of thousands of people do not have electricity. Our family is fortunate so far- our biggest problem is trying to get a pampered pooch to take a dump in the ice.

Our city officials have had news conferences, reacting way ahead of time and established task forces to create plans to evacuate in the event of another day-time snow.  What did the ground hog say about spring? Can't wait!

Stormwatch 2014- another snowmageddon in the ATL- (does this look like our favorite TV show?)

6am Wednesday - January 29th

 Imagine sitting in your car for 18 plus hours on the highway!  This is Atlanta- we are not equipped to handle even 2 inches of snow.  The snow started yesterday-  Tuesday, Jan.28th- at about 10:30am.  People started to leave work around 12:30 pm.  Tracker trailers slid across several lanes of traffic.  Many other fender benders occurred and you have- snow jam 2014!

I have a friend that teaches at North Atlanta High.  He called me at 4pm Tuesday and said-guess where I am?  I thought he was stuck on the highway- but no.  The teachers were not allowed to leave the school, because the buses couldn't get to the school to take the students home.  So now it is 6am in the morning and they all had to spend the night at the school!

My family lives up north.  I know that after they get a snowfall of 15 inches, they still go to work the next morning.  They have no comprehension of this situation.  My niece was here for Snowmegeddon 2011.  The city was closed down for a week.  We picked her up at her hotel downtown and went out to eat on a Sunday night.  While we were out, it started to snow.  We tried to get home and got stuck on a hill about a mile from our house. we parked the car on the side of the road and walked home.  The next morning I walked her back to the MARTA train station and she was able to get back to her hotel.   One of my former students was walking her dog down Lenox Rd. and she and her boyfriend helped me get my car up the hill and I was able to park it in a flat parking lot across the street from where I live.  It stayed there for the next 5 days!

People make fun of us here in the south. We don't know how to drive in the snow.  We close schools when there is a threat of snow.  The truth is:  We do not have the equipment to handle a regular commute home in the snow.  The school officials made a gamble yesterday and they lost.  The last several years, when we have had snow it has been at night or over a weekend and they have forgotten the mess they had in 1982 when everyone had to park on the highway and walk to a friend's house, restaurant or hotel.  That year my sister and I drove from NJ back to college here in Atlanta through the snow and ice.  That was truly the worst driving I have ever experienced.

 Look- those of you in charge of schools and businesses- when the weather men are predicting snow in the middle of the work or school day- just call it off! Yes- we as a city will be wrong sometimes, and we may look like little wussies, but it is better to be safe than to be stuck in your car on the highway or to have students stuck at school without their parents or even worse to have a bus full of students that are stuck on the highway for 16 hours.  What a nightmare!  I hope that the school officials will give their teachers a comp day for their noble efforts to take care of their students overnight!

Old school Learning

This is a photo of my elementary school.  It was damaged during hurricane Sandy and closed from October 2012- September 2013.  Our esteemed governor, Chris Christie, - you know the one- spoke at the grand reopening.

As you can see- although this school is a public school, the island population is so tiny after tourist season, that the school has tiny classes.  I think our class was the largest ever with 28-30 students. My memories of my school days were primarily of older, crass woman teachers.  I had one very young, fun teacher, Ms. Adams, during first grade.  Unfortunately, she only lasted one year before getting married and moving away to North Carolina.  I remember the first time it snowed she was so excited and she let us go out and play all afternoon.  The other teachers- the old bities- were so angry.  They did not believe in "fun" at school.  My fourth grade teacher, Mr. Jablonski, was also nice and younger.  He was the only male teacher at BH elementary.

My kindergarten teacher- Mrs. Elwell, was a stern disciplinarian. She never smiled. I remember that I was talking one day and she moved me to the boys table.  That was my punishment- I pretended to be upset with this -but I was secretly happy with my seat adjustment.

My second grade teacher- Mrs. Hazelton, smelled and wore old wool suits everyday.  She never let us talk, ask questions and she never smiled.  One day, I had a runny nose and I took a Kleenex tissue from her desk after turning in a paper.  She put me in the cloak closet at about 10 am and forgot I was there.  Around 2:30 pm I just got up and left the school.  My house was about 3 blocks away.    My mother asked why I was home so early and I made up some excuse.  Mrs. Hazelton came to my house about 4:30 pm and explained to mother what had happened.  I did not hear her side of the story, but I did tell my mother what happened and she did not believe me.



I did like my third grade and sixth grade teachers.  They were also older women-but they did have a sense of humor and liked teaching children.  My sixth grade teacher brought me books to read, including the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings.  She also did the "blue eye experiment" with our class.  It made a great impression on me. ( see the blog from 7/21/13)

My fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Voltire, was the scariest.  I think she was an alcoholic.  She would intentionally shame children with her words.  I remember her making fun of one of the girls for farting.  She called her windy. She held up one of my Christmas drawings and ripped it up in front of the class.  She repeatedly forbade us to go to the restroom.  I peed my pants more than once and had to continue to sit in my seat all afternoon.

Now- what would have happened to teachers like this today?  They would not be teaching.  Life has gone full circle.  Parents listen to their children and go to the school administration whenever there is the slightest impropriety. Teachers are expected to entertain their classes, while teaching all the major standards. No longer are children supposed to sit and write at their desks.  Children learn by doing group work, games, projects etc.  Teachers are encouraged to continually revise their techniques and motivate their students with new innovative strategies.  I don't know which era would produce the best adults, I certainly would not have been so thick-skinned without my dysfunctional early education!

Christmas Story- Jersey style

 

One year my father got a brilliant idea- "let's go out and cut down our own Christmas tree". Now this was the man who had no idea how to fix anything.  He couldn't fix a hole in the fence.  He didn't know how to put oil in his car.  He never used a saw.  But he was notoriously optimistic and cheap.  He would rather spend a whole afternoon searching for a tree and cutting it down, for free,  than to go and buy one for $25. 

So we all loaded into the station wagon-like Chevy Chase in the Vacation movies. We lived on an island so we had to travel about 20 miles across the bay and into the pine barrens to locate a tree to cut down- did I mention this was free?

Well, we found a spot and got out and started to search for the perfect tree.  Meanwhile my mother was complaining from the start.  Ralph- you don't know how to cut a tree- etc.  My Dad was always up for a "great adventure".  Every summer we would go on family vacations and we would somehow always stay in crazy places with lots of "character"  like the college dorms at Boston University.  They had twin beds and bathrooms down the hall and no air-conditioning.  I remember how hot and sweaty were were in the middle of July and the morning he decided to spray deodorant up his butt crack.  That was a one-time only experiment.  

My Dad parked the car in some wet mud and we later would have to spin the wheels to get out.  Thank goodness we didn't have to change a tire like little Ralphy in the Christmas Story movie.

We were looking around for the perfect tree and my Dad decided to practice his technique on a Charlie Brown sapling.  Naturally, his saw was old and rusty.  We lived at the shore and everything rusts there.  It took him about 15 minutes to saw through a tiny 2 inch wide stem.  How long would it take to bring down a seven feet beauty?  

As we were walking around I noticed these metal tubes all over the place.  I also heard a lot of cars backfiring.  I questioned my Dad.  He said not to worry.  I said Dad- isn't it deer hunting season?  He said not to worry, they don't shoot deer in this area.  Just then we heard a definite blast.  We saw a person in the distance in an orange vest and my Dad had us hightail it for the wagon.  Naturally we were also stuck in the mud so we had to get out and push to make our exit.

Needless to say- we ended up with the $25 tree and next year a new- fangled fake tree was purchased and reused for the next 30 years!

 

When my father's health started to fail, I would travel back to New Jersey on weekends.  I would leave after work and get into the Philly airport at about 10 pm.  There is nothing more nerve-racking than driving through the pine barrens and seeing a bunch of eyes in the trees.  The deer eyes actually light up!  I guess that is better than meeting the Jersey Devil!

 

The Fart Pillow

When my sister and I were preteens we had a little secret, that looking back was strangely empowering.  We had a pillow in the TV room that we sat on whenever we had to fart.  Our parents were not aware of this, and we didn't use it when we were all watching TV together.  We just would run upstairs during the day and fart on it and laugh hysterically.  Then when we were watching TV, we would live it on an open spot, usually for my mother.  When she leaned against it we tried not to look at each other, but invariably our eyes would meet and we would start cracking up.

My mother would yell at my father-" why are the girls laughing at me? " He, of course, would play along and say they are probably laughing at the joke you just missed.  Well my mother missed a lot of jokes on TV and still does.  She just doesn't understand humor.  So, my Dad always played it off.  I think he secretly also figured out what we were laughing at- because we would throw that pillow around like a "hot potato" to avoid sitting anywhere near it.

As children, my sister and I had to grow up so quickly due to certain medical problems within the family.  We were in charge of making dinner and taking care of the house whenever our mother was ill.  But nothing we did  was ever done up to her standards.  Grades at school were also never good enough. To this day it is impossible to please my mother.  So, this was the only thing we had to make us feel powerful.

Thank goodness we are both grown and have raised wonderful children.  I am lucky to have a such a terrific sister.  She and I had some harrowing experiences as children, but we have survived and thank goodness there are a few little ditties like this that we can remember fondly!

Kudos to the new season of GIRLS

If you were about to give up on GIRL'S because last season was too depressing- check out season three's premiere episodes.  They were both sooooo funny.  I laughed so hard!!  Way to go Lena- you are BACK!

I think the main problem last year was the show really needed more of Jessa and she is now back and in rare form.  I won't give up any details- but if you watch it on demand you also get the little blurbs of wisdom from Lena after the show!  Check it out!

Why does the Wolf initiate such anger?

One of the perks of retirement has been the ability to go to the movies and watch all the possible Oscar nominees.  I was moved by 12 years a Slave, Fruitvale Station, Captain Phillips, Dallas Buyer's Club and American Hustle.  These movies have great moments of acting and direction.  They are all true stories also.  This is definitely the year of the TRUE story.  The racial perils that Oscar Grant (Fruitvale Station) faced in Oakland, California.  There was a definite parallel to shooting of Trayvon Martin and this summer's acquittal of George Z.  We were reintroduced to the early world of HIV in the Dallas Buyers club.  I had forgotten how difficult it was to obtain medicine for the patients infected in the 1980's. The Somali pirates in Captain Phillips were terrifying and yet we as an audience developed an understanding of their desperation even though they were terrorists.

American Hustle was loosely based on the ABSCAM case in New Jersey.  The FBI  basically entrapped several political figures in the late 1970's.  All the acting in this film is terrific. Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Adams deliver fantastic performances!  It was my favorite film yet.  I couldn't believe that fake comb-over that Christian Bale had!

By far the most appalling true story is the Wolf of Wall Street.  While watching the movie- I just kept thinking to myself- is this guy ever going to get caught?  The excess money,  drugs, sex, disregard for the working class people being scammed really hit me.  I thought the movie was about 40 minutes too long- but the fact was it was a true story and I do have to say that the quaalaud scenes brought back memories of some of my college pals.

Why did this movie cause to have physical anguish?  Maybe it was that 25 years ago there was a lesson to be learned from Jordan Balfour.  He wrote a book and admitted to all of his debauchery.  He confessed to how he convinced his clients to buy worthless stocks and pocketed all the commissions.  He had no empathy for the regular folks he was fooling. He went to jail for 22 months and played tennis- for Christ's sake. Have we not learned anything?  It seems that the crash of 2008 may have been caused by slightly different "Wolves", but the basic white-collar crime still had the same fallout- very few of these thieves were punished. I think Martha Stewart served a bigger sentence for insider trading.  Isn't this an embarassment? What does this say to the rest of the world?  If you are rich, and you cheat  people there is a very good chance that you will get away with it.  I think that Martin Scorsese wanted people to be retrospect by giving us all the visual excess in this movie.  I think that he is a brilliant director and historian- has anything really changed since the days of Tammany Hall (Gangs of New York)?

I can't wait to see Philomena, Nebraska and August Osage County. Also-  I thought Saving Mr. Banks was a lovely movie. I hope that Emma Thompson gets an Oscar nod.  We have had a wonderful year for films. Go see a movie!  Tell me what you think.  Momma T