My two favorite people on TV

I know that I watch too much TV.I mean we are stuck inside for the next three days-so it is inevitable. I thought I would comment on my favorite TV characters at this moment.





 Number 1- Sue Heck. Sue is the hopelessly awkward high school ( she has to really be about 22, I think she played a preteen in Weeds also) junior in The Middle. Sue is the perfect overly optimistic, braces wearing, clumsy, always trying out for and seldom making any teams type gal. The episode this season when she comes home and screams that she made the varsity volleyball team. She has never made anything that she has tried out for.  She was on Cross country- but there were no cuts.  Her mom made sure she joined that team!  You come to find out that she fell through the gym floor at tryouts and the coach was afraid the family would sue the school, so they put her on the team. It was hilarious!




 Number two- Reza on Shahs of Sunset. Now, I do realize that he isn't exactly a character, because he is on a reality show. But he is a "character" with his 'stache, his quirky way of dressing and his over- dramatizations. Even though Asa, her mother and Reza were in Turkey looking out at the border of Iran and the moment was truly moving, because they were not allowed to visit the country they were born, my daughter and I couldn't help but crack up at Reza and his drama. I just can't help but crack up at the way he talks-"I was a prisoner for so long- and now I am free". He is gay and won't be accepted into Iran. Asa and her mother are political refugees from Iran. None of that is funny. In fact the episode was emotionally moving. I just love Reza and he make me smile. Whether he is discussing MJ's boobs or how Glonessa turns into Loch-nessa when she drinks- that shit is funny.

 I like a lot of shows on TV these days. I love Girls, The Goldberg's, House of Lies, Shameless, Parenthood, Downton Abbey, Sherlock and of course the best show on TV- The Walking Dead. But nothing makes me laugh harder than Reza and Sue Heck. I also love that Jon Stewart. The episode where he made fun of Atlanta's snow jam was classic. I also loved the salute to Sean Hannity leaving NYC.

Things are OK here in the land of snow and ice.  Thank goodness we still have our electricity!
Love- Momma

Day 1- SnowJam Part Deux- Atlanta is a ghost town

Well here we are two weeks later and Atlanta had another storm.  This time it is mainly ice and fortunately it started falling at night-so the roads are free of motorists. The schools were closed a day early- it just rained on Tuesday.  So we have avoided the traffic snarls.  The problem this time is the trees are burdened with ice and they are falling so 100's of thousands of people do not have electricity. Our family is fortunate so far- our biggest problem is trying to get a pampered pooch to take a dump in the ice.

Our city officials have had news conferences, reacting way ahead of time and established task forces to create plans to evacuate in the event of another day-time snow.  What did the ground hog say about spring? Can't wait!

Stormwatch 2014- another snowmageddon in the ATL- (does this look like our favorite TV show?)

6am Wednesday - January 29th

 Imagine sitting in your car for 18 plus hours on the highway!  This is Atlanta- we are not equipped to handle even 2 inches of snow.  The snow started yesterday-  Tuesday, Jan.28th- at about 10:30am.  People started to leave work around 12:30 pm.  Tracker trailers slid across several lanes of traffic.  Many other fender benders occurred and you have- snow jam 2014!

I have a friend that teaches at North Atlanta High.  He called me at 4pm Tuesday and said-guess where I am?  I thought he was stuck on the highway- but no.  The teachers were not allowed to leave the school, because the buses couldn't get to the school to take the students home.  So now it is 6am in the morning and they all had to spend the night at the school!

My family lives up north.  I know that after they get a snowfall of 15 inches, they still go to work the next morning.  They have no comprehension of this situation.  My niece was here for Snowmegeddon 2011.  The city was closed down for a week.  We picked her up at her hotel downtown and went out to eat on a Sunday night.  While we were out, it started to snow.  We tried to get home and got stuck on a hill about a mile from our house. we parked the car on the side of the road and walked home.  The next morning I walked her back to the MARTA train station and she was able to get back to her hotel.   One of my former students was walking her dog down Lenox Rd. and she and her boyfriend helped me get my car up the hill and I was able to park it in a flat parking lot across the street from where I live.  It stayed there for the next 5 days!

People make fun of us here in the south. We don't know how to drive in the snow.  We close schools when there is a threat of snow.  The truth is:  We do not have the equipment to handle a regular commute home in the snow.  The school officials made a gamble yesterday and they lost.  The last several years, when we have had snow it has been at night or over a weekend and they have forgotten the mess they had in 1982 when everyone had to park on the highway and walk to a friend's house, restaurant or hotel.  That year my sister and I drove from NJ back to college here in Atlanta through the snow and ice.  That was truly the worst driving I have ever experienced.

 Look- those of you in charge of schools and businesses- when the weather men are predicting snow in the middle of the work or school day- just call it off! Yes- we as a city will be wrong sometimes, and we may look like little wussies, but it is better to be safe than to be stuck in your car on the highway or to have students stuck at school without their parents or even worse to have a bus full of students that are stuck on the highway for 16 hours.  What a nightmare!  I hope that the school officials will give their teachers a comp day for their noble efforts to take care of their students overnight!

Old school Learning

This is a photo of my elementary school.  It was damaged during hurricane Sandy and closed from October 2012- September 2013.  Our esteemed governor, Chris Christie, - you know the one- spoke at the grand reopening.

As you can see- although this school is a public school, the island population is so tiny after tourist season, that the school has tiny classes.  I think our class was the largest ever with 28-30 students. My memories of my school days were primarily of older, crass woman teachers.  I had one very young, fun teacher, Ms. Adams, during first grade.  Unfortunately, she only lasted one year before getting married and moving away to North Carolina.  I remember the first time it snowed she was so excited and she let us go out and play all afternoon.  The other teachers- the old bities- were so angry.  They did not believe in "fun" at school.  My fourth grade teacher, Mr. Jablonski, was also nice and younger.  He was the only male teacher at BH elementary.

My kindergarten teacher- Mrs. Elwell, was a stern disciplinarian. She never smiled. I remember that I was talking one day and she moved me to the boys table.  That was my punishment- I pretended to be upset with this -but I was secretly happy with my seat adjustment.

My second grade teacher- Mrs. Hazelton, smelled and wore old wool suits everyday.  She never let us talk, ask questions and she never smiled.  One day, I had a runny nose and I took a Kleenex tissue from her desk after turning in a paper.  She put me in the cloak closet at about 10 am and forgot I was there.  Around 2:30 pm I just got up and left the school.  My house was about 3 blocks away.    My mother asked why I was home so early and I made up some excuse.  Mrs. Hazelton came to my house about 4:30 pm and explained to mother what had happened.  I did not hear her side of the story, but I did tell my mother what happened and she did not believe me.



I did like my third grade and sixth grade teachers.  They were also older women-but they did have a sense of humor and liked teaching children.  My sixth grade teacher brought me books to read, including the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings.  She also did the "blue eye experiment" with our class.  It made a great impression on me. ( see the blog from 7/21/13)

My fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Voltire, was the scariest.  I think she was an alcoholic.  She would intentionally shame children with her words.  I remember her making fun of one of the girls for farting.  She called her windy. She held up one of my Christmas drawings and ripped it up in front of the class.  She repeatedly forbade us to go to the restroom.  I peed my pants more than once and had to continue to sit in my seat all afternoon.

Now- what would have happened to teachers like this today?  They would not be teaching.  Life has gone full circle.  Parents listen to their children and go to the school administration whenever there is the slightest impropriety. Teachers are expected to entertain their classes, while teaching all the major standards. No longer are children supposed to sit and write at their desks.  Children learn by doing group work, games, projects etc.  Teachers are encouraged to continually revise their techniques and motivate their students with new innovative strategies.  I don't know which era would produce the best adults, I certainly would not have been so thick-skinned without my dysfunctional early education!

Christmas Story- Jersey style

 

One year my father got a brilliant idea- "let's go out and cut down our own Christmas tree". Now this was the man who had no idea how to fix anything.  He couldn't fix a hole in the fence.  He didn't know how to put oil in his car.  He never used a saw.  But he was notoriously optimistic and cheap.  He would rather spend a whole afternoon searching for a tree and cutting it down, for free,  than to go and buy one for $25. 

So we all loaded into the station wagon-like Chevy Chase in the Vacation movies. We lived on an island so we had to travel about 20 miles across the bay and into the pine barrens to locate a tree to cut down- did I mention this was free?

Well, we found a spot and got out and started to search for the perfect tree.  Meanwhile my mother was complaining from the start.  Ralph- you don't know how to cut a tree- etc.  My Dad was always up for a "great adventure".  Every summer we would go on family vacations and we would somehow always stay in crazy places with lots of "character"  like the college dorms at Boston University.  They had twin beds and bathrooms down the hall and no air-conditioning.  I remember how hot and sweaty were were in the middle of July and the morning he decided to spray deodorant up his butt crack.  That was a one-time only experiment.  

My Dad parked the car in some wet mud and we later would have to spin the wheels to get out.  Thank goodness we didn't have to change a tire like little Ralphy in the Christmas Story movie.

We were looking around for the perfect tree and my Dad decided to practice his technique on a Charlie Brown sapling.  Naturally, his saw was old and rusty.  We lived at the shore and everything rusts there.  It took him about 15 minutes to saw through a tiny 2 inch wide stem.  How long would it take to bring down a seven feet beauty?  

As we were walking around I noticed these metal tubes all over the place.  I also heard a lot of cars backfiring.  I questioned my Dad.  He said not to worry.  I said Dad- isn't it deer hunting season?  He said not to worry, they don't shoot deer in this area.  Just then we heard a definite blast.  We saw a person in the distance in an orange vest and my Dad had us hightail it for the wagon.  Naturally we were also stuck in the mud so we had to get out and push to make our exit.

Needless to say- we ended up with the $25 tree and next year a new- fangled fake tree was purchased and reused for the next 30 years!

 

When my father's health started to fail, I would travel back to New Jersey on weekends.  I would leave after work and get into the Philly airport at about 10 pm.  There is nothing more nerve-racking than driving through the pine barrens and seeing a bunch of eyes in the trees.  The deer eyes actually light up!  I guess that is better than meeting the Jersey Devil!

 

The Fart Pillow

When my sister and I were preteens we had a little secret, that looking back was strangely empowering.  We had a pillow in the TV room that we sat on whenever we had to fart.  Our parents were not aware of this, and we didn't use it when we were all watching TV together.  We just would run upstairs during the day and fart on it and laugh hysterically.  Then when we were watching TV, we would live it on an open spot, usually for my mother.  When she leaned against it we tried not to look at each other, but invariably our eyes would meet and we would start cracking up.

My mother would yell at my father-" why are the girls laughing at me? " He, of course, would play along and say they are probably laughing at the joke you just missed.  Well my mother missed a lot of jokes on TV and still does.  She just doesn't understand humor.  So, my Dad always played it off.  I think he secretly also figured out what we were laughing at- because we would throw that pillow around like a "hot potato" to avoid sitting anywhere near it.

As children, my sister and I had to grow up so quickly due to certain medical problems within the family.  We were in charge of making dinner and taking care of the house whenever our mother was ill.  But nothing we did  was ever done up to her standards.  Grades at school were also never good enough. To this day it is impossible to please my mother.  So, this was the only thing we had to make us feel powerful.

Thank goodness we are both grown and have raised wonderful children.  I am lucky to have a such a terrific sister.  She and I had some harrowing experiences as children, but we have survived and thank goodness there are a few little ditties like this that we can remember fondly!

Kudos to the new season of GIRLS

If you were about to give up on GIRL'S because last season was too depressing- check out season three's premiere episodes.  They were both sooooo funny.  I laughed so hard!!  Way to go Lena- you are BACK!

I think the main problem last year was the show really needed more of Jessa and she is now back and in rare form.  I won't give up any details- but if you watch it on demand you also get the little blurbs of wisdom from Lena after the show!  Check it out!