Buckner's redemption

For those of you that didn't understand last nights episode of Curb your Enthusiasm- Let me explain.  In 1986 the Mets were in the World Series with the Boston Red Sox.  The Mets were down 3-2 and had come back  and were in the sixth game, tied in extra innings.  Mookie Wilson from the Mets hit a give me dribbler down the first base line and Bill Buckner made an error and the Mets won game six.  They came back and won the seventh game and won the World series.  I watched every game of the World series that year.  The Miracle Mets were the reason I was up at one every night and very tired at school.  My roommates were New York Met fans and if you loved the Mets- that was the most exciting time ever!

For those of you that didn't know the background- you may have been confused by the story line last night.  Bill Buckner was a terrific baseball player and he had one big error and that is what he will always be remembered for and that is a shame.  Also remember that at that time the Red Sox had not won a world series in a very long time.

Thanks Larry- I laughed throughout the whole show last night- Hysterical!

Guns don't kill people- people kill people-Really?

Well we just had another instance where a six year child was killed while playing with his mother's gun. I hate guns.  I understand that people want to defend themselves, but seriously is there ever a situation where a criminal is planning to attack you and they really don't have the upper hand.  Unless you are walking down the street with your gun drawn you really do not have the ability to be on the offensive.  Women with a gun in their purse aren't going to be able to get it out without a mugger realizing what they are up to.  If you have a gun in your glove compartment of your car or the nightstand in your bedroom- do you really have the upper hand?  If you have children- they are going to be very curious about this magic weapon you hide in the drawer and this just is a recipe for disaster.

Don't even get me started on assault weapons and hunting. 

Chris Rock has it right when he says- charge $5000 per bullet.  That will put an end to drive by shootings and reckless gun owners.  Then if you want to kill someone- you are only going to get one shot.  No innocent bystanders will get hurt. 

How many murders are there in the UK?  Canada?  They have gun legislation there.  The right to bear arms was written at a very different period in our history.  I understand that I am really stepping on some toes with this one-too fucking bad.  Let's not kill any more innocents!  Momma T

Lady Gaga- Fashole or Fashicon?

I admire Lady Gaga.  I think she is a genius.  She is constantly reinventing herself.  She has become the role model for a generation of young people that are "outcasts" and teaching them to love themselves.  I always loved Madonna in the 80's.  I think they are both very intelligent performers.  I watched the Fashion police this morning and there was a controversy whether to put her in the best or worst dressed of the week.  Katy Perry had a block of cheddar on her head- trying to compete with Lady Gaga the woman.  Lady Gaga outfoxed them all. I really enjoyed watching her HBO concert special this summer.  She is definitely for real and very talented. If you haven't watched it- check it out on HBO.  Go Lady Go!

I also just was reminded of her early performance on the view this summer.  They replayed it this morning. She wore her Chanel even on her piano!

The most entertaining answer of all time !

As a teacher, I have graded 1000's of essay answers. I got one today that beats every answer in the last 30 years. Enjoy!

The question:  Describe four evidences of evolution and give examples of each.  How did Darwin come up with the idea of natural selection and describe how we demonstrated that in our labs?

Answer:
One evidence of natural selection is birds.  If you look outside and see a pigeon you'd think that bird looks small.  But really its common ancestor is a terodactyl.  Which is a pretty big sized bird.  Another evolution thats really amazing are homosapiens.  Its amazing to see what humans have evolved from like walking while bent over and now we can walk standing up straight. not to mention the technology the way its advanced since they had to use fire to light there caves we now have light bulbs.  The third evolution change is lizards which evolved from T-rex's.  An animal that was 61 feet tall evolved to something that's now, not even a whole foot tall.  The last but most obvious change of evolution is earth.  The earth's climate has changed sooooooooo much since 4 billion years ago.  4 billion years ago all the continents were together as one(pangea) now theyve all broken apart into 2 huge pieces of land and it use to be wayyyyy hotter 4 billion years ago but since the climate changed we experience times or periods of different weather.  thats a huge change of evolution right there.  Darwin came up with this idea of evolution of natural selection because of the massive change in environment and we demonstrated it in our lab because Just like cavemen did we changed over time.

I sat down and read this and wondered- did this student actually sit in the same class I was teaching in the last four weeks?  That was hilarious and yet frightening all at the same time! Perhaps he will become our next senator.  The scary thing is- he probably left class and thought- I nailed it! Momma T

My lovely little Freshmen!

I have been teaching science since 1982.  Until recently, I have have always had mostly freshmen classes.  My school started an academy a few years ago and you couldn't teach freshmen unless you had them all day.  I still wanted to teach the upper level AP classes, so I had to give up the freshmen.  Now-like pretty much everything in education, the rules have changed and I have three freshmen classes.  They are small and cute.  A few of the girls have a tude.(attitude)  Most of the girls are really sweet. Most of the boys are in dire need of aderol.  They are cute-but hyper. It is a whole different world than teaching upperclassmen.

Two days a week we have a block schedule with 95 minute class periods.  That is lab day.  So last week I took them outside for a lab that lasted about 15 minutes outside.  They had stop watches(all a swinging), and they were throwing toothpicks on the ground and picking them up in 15 second increments.  One boy was all over the place.  I had to ask him to get to work three times.  He started on the 15 second pick up and then threw up in the grass.  I asked him if  he would like to sit down in the shade and rest. He was totally fine after he threw up ( and also before.) Back in the classroom- I saw a boy with tears in his eyes.  I questioned what was the matter.  The girl next to him said take him in the hall and asked what happened. He proceeded to tell me that another boy threw him into the back window and proceeded to choke him.  I asked if he was OK and he said his ear hurt from being jacked up into the window-but he was otherwise OK.  I proceeded to take the other boy to the assistant principal and then I had to go back and get the other one.  In the meantime my class of 34 little heathens decided to take the turtles food and throw it all over the room.

I blew my top on return and I think I may have uttered the shit word.  The next day they were really good.  I hope they haven't forgotten their remorse this week- I doubt it.  My friend said I should use the - I'm in menopause while yelling at them next time and they will be frightened.  I haven't tried that one yet- I have a feeling I may need it!

It is interesting the lab we did was on the topic of natural selection.  Survival of the fittest- will it be me or them?  Stay tuned.

The Tea Party's Last Stand

The Kingdom of Wasilla 2060

Hi- my name is Rogue Arnold.  My fathers family has lived in North America since before the revolutionary war.  ( That is the war where Paul Revere warned the British about our kick ass revolutionists and their tea party rebellion).  Yes, my great, great grandmother was the magnificent Sarah Palin. Fortunately she kept her compound here in Wasilla, because her home in Arizona is now long gone.  In fact there is no "lower 48" anymore. 

Great Grandma Bristol  used to say "when one door closes another one opens".  This is what happened to America.

The weather got very hot, all the crops were destroyed and then all the light skinned people developed skin cancer.  Fortunately, there was no more worry about the illegals crossing the border.

Life became very difficult and the remaining refugees tried to migrate to what used to called Canada.

There are no more countries anymore.  All towns are ruled by monarchs.  The kingdom of Wasilla is ruled by papa Trip. We have the last remaining fresh water supply due to the melting of the glaciers. Our weather is a dependable 75 degrees each day. 

Well- I have to run.  If I stay outside for more than five minutes the skin cancer will get me!

Hey Teresa- is it a Hurricane or a Norwegian?

Well- I missed the Housewives of NJ this past Sunday and finally caught it today.  God bless Teresa- she will never let you down!  I think she said the best line since -Is Bitch Better? or even the table flip.  She was talking about the weather and she said a Norwegian was coming.  She meant Nor'easter. Now I grew up on the Jersey shore and I am well aware of the term.  We had at least one or two of these storms every year.  They usually aren't as bad as a hurricane-but they are sometimes bad enough to force evacuations from wind and flooding.  This just goes to show my fascination with the housewives of Jersey.  I mean, how these folks that are so not intelligent live in huge Mansions?  It is super puzzling and yet  fascinating! 

Some of my friends think that Melissa and Joe G. are the new heroes of Jersey.  I will not give up the title that hold for my favorite housewife- Teresa.  She raises 4 little brats and a super big bratty husband  and still has time to steal her moms recipes and sell them in a cookbook- BRAVO! 

My students are also fascinated with the whole Jersey mystique.  They ask me about the Jersey Shore crowd and I say- yes I did witness people like that growing up.  There were a lot of Italians at the shore. I even had a friend at college in Atlanta that probably was the original situation. But these housewives seem so familiar- I think I might have waited on a few of them and their families when I was young.

Hope all is well in Jersey after this hurricane blows through.  It has been a long time since we had a hurricane up there.  My angel sister picked up my mother for the weekend. Thanks god for her!